"I moved to a new city where I don't know anybody... because of a girl who rejected me and doesn't even want to talk with me anymore... now I'm stuck here for at least one year.
Any suggestions?"
Sorry dude. I guess I'd suggest throwing yourself into work. That, or you could start paying me for therapy sessions.
Actually, you need to go out to the best bars every night and make some new friends there. You'll probably end up getting laid in the deal as well.
"I miss your sarcastic comments about life - sometimes they are actually helpful.
At least I already found two bars where I'm very welcome here in Vienna... now I need a girl... or couple of girls."
Just be friendly, smile, talk to many people, not just girls. If girls see you are just generally friendly (as I know you to be) and not just out hitting up one girl after another in a mad chase for pussy, they'll receive you more warmly.
I just hope that you have enough money to support this little experiment. If you have too much money, don't forget that I now have a paypal donation button on the blog: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TK6ZJQR46YVFS
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
She Doesn't Give Me The Time of Day
"dude, that girl in my writing class is so damn cute and nice... how to go to the "next level/step"? Fuck, why am I asking YOU? oh, right..."
You little fucker. You go on to say that she forbade you get her a Valentine's Day gift?
Let me tell you something: bitches are greedy and love it when you give them stuff. She totally wants a Valentine's Day gift; just not the YOU that comes attached. She's really not down for you, dude.
This is the fourth time you've gotten a crush on her? This is the same crush, buddy; why lie to yourself? I get that you don't want to admit you've been bonering for her 19 months STRAIGHT. Breaking it up into four sections is bullshit. Maybe you got distracted for a while; but it's the same crush.
So, we're back to the real question: What can you do to get this girl in your bed?
Probably nothing. In my case, I find that ignoring a girl for a few years opens the possibility of her later returning to my life so that I can THEN have sex with her.
It's happened more times than you'd believe.
It's really your only hope. I mean, if you can't rufie her or something.
POST SCRIPTUM:
I fail to see how you describe a girl who disses you, as "nice." Polite, perhaps.
You little fucker. You go on to say that she forbade you get her a Valentine's Day gift?
Let me tell you something: bitches are greedy and love it when you give them stuff. She totally wants a Valentine's Day gift; just not the YOU that comes attached. She's really not down for you, dude.
This is the fourth time you've gotten a crush on her? This is the same crush, buddy; why lie to yourself? I get that you don't want to admit you've been bonering for her 19 months STRAIGHT. Breaking it up into four sections is bullshit. Maybe you got distracted for a while; but it's the same crush.
So, we're back to the real question: What can you do to get this girl in your bed?
Probably nothing. In my case, I find that ignoring a girl for a few years opens the possibility of her later returning to my life so that I can THEN have sex with her.
It's happened more times than you'd believe.
It's really your only hope. I mean, if you can't rufie her or something.
POST SCRIPTUM:
I fail to see how you describe a girl who disses you, as "nice." Polite, perhaps.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Pervert Plus
My Dear @cl0wnzee
I don't know why there's a "haha" at the end of that question: becoming the biggest pervert ever is serious business.
The first thing you're going to need to do is convince the few friends you have, the people who actually know you're nothing more than a novice pervert, that they need to back you up on this project. Once you have them on your side the rest should be relatively straightforward.
First, buy a shoulder bag that up until now you haven't shown any need for. Try to make it loud enough to get people's attention, but not so obvious that they'll be absolutely sure you haven't been carrying it around all along.
Now that you have the bag, LOAD IT UP. I suggest these items for starters. A dolphin Beanie Babie; two large bottles of Super Glue; a biography on Bob Crane, a small dog collar (attached to a large dog, if at all possible); a 3-4 foot nylon cord with loops at the ends, a small can of Crisco cooking oil; a Swiss Army Knife (WITH the spoon); and a roll of duct tape.
The next step is to recruit your friends into telling stories of your foul sexual activities to the other students and school staff. REMEMBER: The fewer of these stories involving humans of anything near the age of consent, the better.
Get caught coming out of the girls' room at school, nervously dropping a bloody tampon while muttering, "Here we go again." Then pick up the tampon and put it into your man-purse as you whisper the words, "Almost got away from me didn't you, sexy?"
In any class where something of a sexual nature comes up, be sure to always ask the teacher, "But, that's okay to do, right?"
At lunchtime you should sit by yourself (which I'm sure you're used to by now), and lay out the contents of the shoulder bag in front of you as neatly as possible. Then just sit there licking your lips until the end of lunch period. You may also want to look up to smile at passers-by from time to time.
Well, that should be a good start for you. If you still aren't getting the response you desire, try fucking an animal.
Good luck!
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